I spent about a month thinking about my word. I didn't start with this one but right before it was too late it came to me and it stuck. I had an idea of what I wanted it to feel like but sometimes my feelings are too complex (let me get my monocle, I'm just sooo complex) to put into one word. I tried a couple on for size over the last few weeks, I thought about explore, then perambulate. I thought about audacity, and "just do it" (sorry Nike) and engage... Finally, at the end, after a couple emails and text message discussions with friends, I landed on endeavor.
And even today, when thinking about the introduction and reading over other people's word choices (Briana, Elise, Susannah) , I wasn't 100% sure it fit. But I went back through my feelings, consulted the dictionary (well, the online dictionary) again and decided yes, this is right.
I have a hard time committing to something for a year, especially when I want so much from that one thing and I need it to encompass just about everything. But I think endeavor gets it, I think, this year, endeavor gets me.
I wanted a word with power, one that didn't sit on the sidelines and let things happen to it. Some years those words are okay, I feel like that was much of last year... letting things happen and then learning how to appropriately process them.
But this year is about doing, and while doing is an alright word it wasn't strong enough, or even very specific. You do something when you brush your teeth or take a shower... you are doing something when you breath, when you think and when you read.
Endeavor has more substance... it means I'm focused in what I am going to be doing, and I have a goal to meet, and I'm setting out to meet those goals with great effort.
This year I endeavor to...
... grow leaps and bounds in my photography by completing projects, scheduling meet ups and taking classes or asking friends for help.
... dream bigger and reach higher than I ever have allowed myself to do before in all aspects of my life.
... learn to love cooking through a year long project.
... build new connections and strengthen old ones with friends and family...
And if I'm lucky, and if the universe is willing, I endeavor to create a new relationship unlike any I have had before. One filled with starry eyes, mutual affection and appreciation and lots of laughter.